Friday, December 30, 2016

The Stormtrooper Package


Photo by Johnny Silvercloud from Flickr
I recently thought about how stormtroopers from the Star Wars films are not very good soldiers in the sense that they get killed easily and cannot shoot anything. Anyway, I was also wondering if their suicidal behavior has anything to do with their insurance policy—the Empire has to offer some package, right! Who would be a soldier for free? C’mon!

Maybe, if they get killed in battle, their family gets a nice package! The way I see it is that these guys have to be the bottom part of society in the Star Wars galaxy and become soldiers to get a decent living and a nice package for the family!

Who would want to fight for an Empire that is led by a satanic looking dude like Emperor Palpatine? So, I figure these guys become stormtroopers for survival and to give something to their families, right? 

Yeah, maybe they might be a little deranged themselves, but still. No one would just join an army to just kill. Like I said, stormtroopers join the Empire to make some living or to just survive. I’m sure there is a brainwashing process to be suicidal troopers, but that is another issue.  

So, I really do hope that these guys get some sort of package for themselves and their families. I mean, does the Empire pay for schooling once these guys retire? What is the deal on that? Do their kids get a to use the benefits?

Anyway…



Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Why didn't the Star Wars universe have the technology to regenerate body parts?

Photo by Flickr

I was watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars the other day and a though came over me. In this universe that George Lucas created, the ability to create a whole army out of cloning one guy is totally possible. However, when someone loses a body part, say from a light saber, then it can only be replaced by a mechanical prosthetic.

I mean, in Star Wars, ships easily warp into light speed. Just about everything has the anti-gravity technology. Seriously, I'm sure couches can float in every planet in the Star Wars universe.

All that and not one scientists decided to regenerate body parts. I mean the mechanical prosthetic parts kick ass an all, look at Luke Skywalker's hand or even check out Darth Vader's body, even though it would suck being in that extreme state, but not one hint of regenerating human body parts or any kind of body.

Seriously, for how advanced the Star Wars universe is, it sure is barbaric. Clone a shit load of guys to send to their death but no hope of regenerating body parts for people that get maimed constantly by light sabers or any type of freaking laser.


I know that this aspect of this universe is what creates great characters like Darth Vader, but still. What do think about this?

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Yoda Taught for 800 Years! Earth Years?

Photo by Gonzalo Martin from Flickr
There is a scene in Empire Strikes Back in which Yoda is giving up in teaching Luke Skywalker the Jedi-way, and Obi-Wan Kenobi’s spirit is trying to convince Yoda to be patient and give Luke a chance. 

Yoda replies by telling Obi’s spirit that he has been teaching the Jedi-way for over 800 years. That is a lot of years! However, is it Earth years? How can a galaxy far, far away have the concept of years! Years only applies to Earth, right? A year is when our planet, Earth, revolves around the Sun one time, thus a year.

Well, Yoda is not from Earth. Well, he could be! But, yeah, no! So, 800 years in the Star Wars universe is really how long for us Earthlings? Also, these characters from Star Wars are jumping planets and systems all the time, so the years would have to be different every time they took a trip, right?

What do you think?

Monday, December 26, 2016

Darth Vader’s Dark Powers Failed with Princess Leia

Photo by Danny Hope from Flickr
In the movie Star Wars: A New Hope, Darth Vader takes Princess Leia prisoner to torture her for information on the whereabouts of the Rebels. As we know, Vader is the father of Leia, as stated in the sequel or in Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. Why didn’t Darth Vader sense that when he was torturing her? 

I mean isn’t he supposed to be one of the most powerful beings in that galaxy, next to the Sith or the Emperor? Vader must have felt stupid for a second when he sensed that information from Luke Skywalker during their second showdown in the Return of the Jedi.

That was a big boo-boo for Darth Vader. Had his own daughter under his nose, and not even his “great dark powers” allowed him to sense that! I’m telling you this dark side stuff is a bunch of crap!

Really, if the dark side is so powerful, why didn’t the Emperor see or sense that Darth Vader was going to turn on him when he was killing Luke with his lightning bolts that shoot out of his hands.


I think it would have been better if Han Solo was the twin brother. It makes perfect sense! Solo turns out to be a galactic criminal because his father was never around! It would have been interesting if it would have gone that way, no? Then, the dark power of Darth could have a little more dignity that way. 

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Darth Vader is an Oakland Raiders

Photo by Steve Troughton from Flickr
Darth Vader is an Oakland Raiders! Yes, that is right! One of the most popular villains of all time is a Raiders fan. It might not be a good thing to have a dark villain being a Raiders fan, but it is a very cool thing! 

This dark villain has been seen rolling deep with the Raider Nation at games. He’s been part of the “Black Hole” at the Oakland Coliseum numerous times. What for? To support his favorite team, the Oakland Raiders.

This guy must travel galaxies to come see a Raiders game. In the last decade, I’m sure he’s been disappointed with his NFL team’s performance, but, regardless, like all Raiders fan, he’s still devoted and loyal. 
With this successful season so far in 2016, Darth Vader has brought the power of the dark side with him and cheer on the Raiders! So, do not underestimate the power of the dark side!

Darth Vader is the master of all Raiders! I one looks around when there is a Raiders game at the Oakland Coliseum, one just might get a nice glimpse of him! Oh yeah, any other cheap impostor that uses Darth Vader to support any other NFL team is an impostor. Seriouly!

May the force be with you!



Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Boba Fett The Movie


Photo by Robert Schultz from Flickr
I heard there’s going to be a movie about Boba Fett by Disney. Ever since Disney took over the Star Wars franchise, it decided to expand the universe of Star Wars. Of course, one of the projects is going to be Fett.

Well, besides making the next three episodes with JJ Abrams, Disney is also doing side projects with different characters: movies, T.V. cartoons, etc.

I really hope they don’t phuck this up! So far, it has been good with Disney for the Star Wars franchise, especially with Rogue One coming out later this month.
With Fett, I hope they don’t make it too cute or something of that sort. If it was up to me, the Fett story would be super grim and a bit disturbing.

For those that saw Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones, Boba Fett witnesses the decapitation of his father, Jango Fett, via Mace Windu, played by Samuel L. Jackson.

Well, Boba is left by his lonesome with his father’s gadgets and his father’s spaceship called Slave I. The story from there has to be dark and gruesome for this kid living in a tumultuous galaxy all by his lonesome.

I would start with Boba Fett becoming a hit man at a super young age. After that, it would all be pure entertainment in a way that Lucas should have done from the beginning, grim and not cutesy.

To be continued…

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Better Ewoks for the Remake of Star Wars

Photo by S. from Flickr
I really think that it would be cool to remake the Star Wars Trilogy. The remake should be geared towards adults and make it very dark. That would be super awesome!

One idea is to get rid of the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi. Seriously, the Ewoks, little teddy bears that can barely walk, helped the Rebels defeat the Empire in the final battle with sticks and stones! C’mon!

In the remake the Ewoks should be real sized bears that walk on their hind legs and run on all four. In the final battle, the Ewoks should be shown tearing up stormtroopers to pieces, making the battle very gory. Imagine Ewoks running at full speed as they attack.

I would also give the Ewoks or Bearwoks some sort of technology to be able to fight back against lasers besides their brute power. Maybe the Ewoks would have have some sort of crossbows with lasers, thus something similar to what Chebacca has.

The story would be more interesting and way more awesome, especially when Princes Leia encounters them for the first time. The new Ewoks would be fierce and feared! See instead of cuteness, the new Ewoks in the remake would make the movie more intense.

Anyway, that’s just an idea for the remake of the first Star Wars trilogy in the future in some galaxy far, far away.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Controlling Cyborgs With an Evil Mind

Photo by Pixabay
Machines in the future will be available in all types including evil. Yes, and these machines will include the super advanced cyborg. Not that we don’t have any evil machines or cyborgs nowadays, but these machines will be controlled by the mind. How horrible is that! 

I heard on the radio the other morning in which machines can be controlled with the mind. I heard this from Joe Rogan on KROQ here in Los Angeles, CA. 

Anyway, Rogan mentioned that on this TV show, Joe Rogan Questions Everything, he was able to fly a remote control helicopter with his mind. I actually saw that episode. It was pretty fascinating! 

I had also heard or read somewhere, a while back, that jet fighters were going to be controlled by the mind in the future. The technology is already here in the present, but the actual use of fighters in that fashion has not been used just yet, although we do have drones! 

Anyway, my point is that certain machines will be used for evil things not good things. Machines already are being used as such. However, can you imagine a criminal getting a hold of this technology! 

Evil machines will be used to rob banks or commit murder. One could just easily control an evil cyborg with the mind to go do evil deeds. It would be perfect! No witness! No evidence, ‘cause the cyborg or robot would be programmed to self destruct. 

Now, imagine what our wonderful government will do with this technology!


Thursday, November 24, 2016

Witness the End of the World

To witness the end of the world would be an amazing thing! I know it sounds horrible to actually witness mass destruction and seeing the demise of mankind, but to witness such an event would be the most astonishing thing to see! 
Photo by XX-34 Badgerption from Flickr
Yes, if such an event were to take place, I would be extremely sad. My soul would be instantaneously wounded if I were to see the end of the world before my eyes.
Of course, I would start praying, in hopes to see my loved ones once the destructive event was all over. On the other hand, when the shit hits the fan, I’ll want to look at it! In other words, if the end were to come in my lifetime, I would want to witness it, front row seat.
Whether it’s a giant earthquake, a meteor, an epic climate attack, or war, I’m going to want to look at it. It will be the last thing to look at, so might as well enjoy it while it takes your life and everything you knew away. 

Also, I hope I don’t exist if the end ever comes, but, if it does, might as well take the front seat and hold your loved one’s hand with a nice buttery bucket of popcorn!

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

I Would Tell Aliens that I'm the World Leader

by Photovision62 at Pixabay
If I was approached by aliens in the middle of nowhere and asked me who the leader of the world is, I would say it’s me. 

Yes, I would tell aliens that I was the leader of the world and that I was overthrown by our current government, along with all the other governments in the world. 

Then, I would get the aliens to lend me their forces, by telling them that the current leaders of the world are a bunch of oppressor, which would not be very hard to prove. With the forces lent from the aliens, I would take over the world.
Of course, once the chaos was over, I would bring peace and restore order throughout the world with my new friends. Everyone would have a free health plan, equal rights, food, a nice car, a home, etc. I know this sounds a little like a kids' tale, but you know what I mean. 

This seems to be the only way to have a new world order, because here, in this planet, we have a bunch of old fools who are corrupted by greed and power! The other is a revolution, but that is out of the question, or is it?
Bu-ah-ha-ha-ha!

Monday, November 21, 2016

We could be the first in the Universe

The universe is so immense that there could be life out there. Sure, why not. However, the idea is that life out in the universe is always more intelligent than us, right? You know, UFOs and little green aliens coming to invade Earth, or constantly abducting people to study.
Wikimedia Commons
Many say that aliens are a lie. Who knows? Still, there is no evident evidence that aliens from outer space exist.
Well, think about this. What if we were the first living things that sprouted in this immense dimension we call the universe and, in a gazillion years from now, we are going to be the intelligent beings that will invade other planets. Did you ever think about that? 

Maybe that’s why we haven’t had any real contact with other planets yet! Because, those planets have not evolved yet! 

I want to hear what you think!

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Thank Goodness for that Time Traveler!



Photo credit by Carlos Vega from Flickr
What if the end of world that was suppose to come on December of 2012 just like the Mayan calendar predicted was altered? What if that scheduled apocalypse never happened because some time traveler, from the future obviously, came back to, lets say, 2010 and changed the course of what should have been in 2012?


What if we are all living, now, in a parallel universe created by this time traveler who came back to change things in order to avoid the apocalypse that was suppose to happen at the end of 2012?


Think about it! This universe is the lucky one that survived the apocalypse that was predicted by the Mayan calendar. In this universe, that whole prediction was a joke.


However, in the universe where the time traveler never came, we all die a gruesome death. Wow! Thank goodness that time traveler came around! At least, for us who exist in this parallel universe!


Anyway, I’m just thinking crazy man!

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Rant: Uber and Lyft Riders that Expect Water

Guess what? I am an Uber and Lyft driver and it sucks when a rider gets into my car for a short ride that cost about $3 and expects water. Yeah, the other day, I had this pretty girl get into my car in Hollywood and asked for water. Her ride was like 3 minutes long, and it was also a line request. That means that her ride was less than $3 bucks. When I told her that I don't carry water in my car, she started bitching about how I was going to get a bad rating for not having water.

Guess what? Having water in my car for riders or customers cost money. Also, having water for customer is a courtesy, and it is not a mandatory thing to have. Additionally, before Uber and Lyft, did cab drivers give out water and gum as a courtesy. Fuck no! So why do these fucking cheap skates that ride Uber and Lyft expect fucking water! Yeah, I hope you fucking cheap skates read this so you stop rating Uber and Lyft drivers low because they simply don't have water for your cheap ass!

Remember, when someone orders an Uber or Lyft, it is simply a nice ride with AC that you are getting for a nice cheap price. So, why are you expecting extra perks. See, back in the days when Uber and Lyft used to pay very reasonably, drivers had some nice extra cash to have water and gum for their customers. Those days are long gone! Uber and Lyft drivers have to work their asses off to make a decent buck. So, the extra money made goes towards maintenance for the vehicle not to buy water and gum for riders.

I hope this makes sense. Chill out with the high-limo-treatment expectations in an Uber or Lyft ride! Unless, you are in UberSelect or higher, then I guess yeah. Otherwise, enjoy your ride and bring your own fucking water! Also, stop eating in Uber and Lyft driver's cars! Would you eat in your!?